July 17, 2013

Dear Dylan,      

Ecclesiastes 3:
1To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: 2A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; 3A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; 4A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; 5A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; 6A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; 7A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; 8A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

Your parents and family have entered upon a season, precious baby boy, where we all eagerly await your arrival. During this season, however, we have also experienced the heart-wrenching loss of one of the greatest men you could have ever known in your lifetime: your Grandpa. It was on this day, July 17, that he gave up his courageous battle against an illness that consumed his body for 18 years. He was so desperately trying to hang on to see you, though, baby Dylan, even if only for another month. He looked forward to having another grandson, and he asked about you daily, even in times when he struggled to understand anything else. He understood how important you are, and he loved you more than you will know. He would reach out from his bed just to touch you in my tummy. It hurts me so much to know that you will never feel the direct touch of his large but comforting hands. However, your dad and I still feel that he will see you and he will know you, and a part of his legacy will live on in you. You may never feel him, or hear his voice, but he will be watching you from Heaven, where he is finally at peace and still, living with the One who created you both.

If he could talk to you, he would tell you he loves you. He would probably tell you he was proud of you, and he would probably encourage you to do anything you wanted or be anything you wanted. He would give you lessons on the facts of life, and you would be at ease just being with him. He would lead you by example to a life of morals and integrity, and the understanding of hard-work and gratefulness for the life you have. Of course, you have your daddy, your mommy, your Nana, your Grandma, your other Grandpa, and a slew of aunts and uncles and cousins to teach you all these things as well. But we will never forget the man you never had the opportunity to meet, and we will tell you about him as often as we can.

We know God has a plan, and all things work together for his purpose, though sometimes its hard to understand. Thanks to the friends and family visits since his passing, I never knew so much about your Grandpa as I do now, even if all we have left are the memories. He truly was a remarkable man, and words can’t express the void he has left in all our hearts. And I hope that when you come, there will be a part of you that is just like him.

Never forget how special or how loved you are, Dylan. You come from a long line of family who will remind you of this, I am sure. And know that this includes the one Grandpa (Paco) who will be smiling down on you from Heaven.

Love, Mom.

July 15, 2013/ July 19, 2013

On Monday, we had a visit with my newer cardiologist's physician's assistant. Since everything cardiac was status quo, it was a very fast appointment. We went over the previous week's incident, and we discussed why donating blood is a bad idea for me.

On Friday, we had a visit with our normal perinatalogist for our standard two-week checkup. Prior to this, we had another ultrasound to check on the baby's size and estimated weight. He was a little sleepy, and his heart-rate at first was only 109, but jumped into the 120s later. It also turns out he is in the 90th percentile and estimated to be 7.1 pounds already, at 34.5 weeks! Finding this information out changed our plan of action a bit. She decided that we would keep a close eye on his size, and there is now a 50/50 chance of doing a C-section instead of attempting to deliver naturally. Before, we had discussed using forceps or a vacuum, but this would not be as effective on a larger baby. The induction is still planned for August 19, though we might go in earlier if he is estimated to be quite large at that time (they are estimated to grow about a half-pound a week for the remainder of time). I will start with an epidural and pushing, but we may change the plans if he is not in a cooperative spirit and the pushing does not go as well as planned. So, as with always, its a wait and see game. :-)

After finishing our appointment at the perinatalogist, we headed over (for the 2nd time in one week!) to Labor and Delivery to have an anesthesia consult, which is recommended practice for high risk pregnancies. She looked at my nasal and throat passages (which, it turns out, are small) and we talked about the general course of action for delivery. Of course, Bryan and I had no questions, as we generally just trust the doctor's judgments, but mostly we have no idea what we are doing, so it was also a very quick visit.

July 11, 2013

Up until this point, we had gone nearly another two months with no hospital visits! Thankfully, however, the visit on this day was not nearly as stressful and almost didn't even happen. I had been at my parent's house the night before, and mentioned to my mom that I had had a few more headaches and periods of light-headedness lately. She mentioned this in a phone call to my sister, who called me and encouraged me to call my doctor, as these can be signs of pre-eclampsia or hypertension. Knowing that nothing is just a simple phone call to my doctor, I waited until the next morning to call. The highest I had seen my blood pressure was 144, but that was after vacuuming. We (as a family) also had been undergoing a lot of stress lately with my dad's ailing health (that is for another post), so this is what I attributed my headaches to.

As expected, once I called the advice nurse, things went from slightly concerning to red alert real fast. Within the first phone call, she asked me a bunch of questions, then told me to take Tylenol and call her back if the headache did not go away by the afternoon. I was satisfied with this answer. But then the nurse called back. She said she talked it over with the doctor on duty (not my normal doctor), and he wanted me to go to Labor and Delivery to get checked out. She told me to call my husband and get there ASAP.

So, this is where we dwelled for the next four hours. We did fetal monitoring via the contraction belt and listened to his heartbeat (it was strong, and I had some mild contractions). The doctor ordered an echocardiogram as well, the results of which the doctor in L&D said looked slightly better than the last test (this could be due to variances in technician's skills). In the end, my blood pressure was lower, my urine showed no protein, and the doctors were satisfied that my headaches were going away with Tylenol. So, we left the hospital with no news being good news, but I sure could've spent those four hours in more productive ways. At least it was nice having peace of mind that Baby Dylan was okay :-).

July 1, 2013

Today was another healthy checkup! We got to hear both my heartbeat and the baby’s, as he was tucked away and hiding. It jumped up a little and is now in the 120 range. He is definitely more active lately! We asked Dr. Williams if she had any more thoughts on the due date, and she said that if nothing happens by August 19, this is the date we will induce! Also, I only have two more weeks (this was week 32) to go before she would let labor continue, if I should begin. I feel like we are so close to being out of the danger zone! On July 19, we will do a growth ultrasound to check his size, and reassess the delivery date, if needed.

Bryan and I celebrated by FINALLY starting to put the nursery together. I wiped down the walls, window, fan, closet shelves, then vacuumed and steamcleaned the carpet. Next the crib/changer and book/toy shelf went up! Now I can start unpacking all the things we have been collecting the past few months, including these adorable decals that I can't wait for him to wear and document each month of growth in :-)! Things are starting to get real!