February 11, 2013

At 12 weeks old, you are the size of a lime! Mom and Dad had some grocery shopping to do, so we took this fun picture to commemorate this important milestone in your growth!

How am I feeling right now? I have to learn to separate my joyfulness of our pregnancy and the anxieties over my heart. In one sense, I have a complete calm as I know I am being prayed over consistently by family and friends. I have received affirmation from some that this pregnancy will go well. But when the doctors call and email between each other and myself, and there is a “rush” in getting to important appointments, I can’t help but worry they know something I don’t. And no, I don’t want to hear other people’s pregnancy “war” stories. Everyone has their battle, and this one is completely unique to us. That’s why we have no idea what the future will hold. It’s a “wait and see” game, but we are keeping our faith to keep holding on. A good friend simply asked me, Tell me four things the new diagnosis of hypertrophy means to you…

And my response:
1. Im terrified of dropping dead and leaving Bryan and my parents.
2. I feel guilty for the stress it’s causing the people who know and the people who will know.
3. I’ve never dreaded a dr appt more than this one in my life.
4. I’ll be happy with anything as long as they don’t tell me to abort the baby.